This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five…
Me: What’s an easter egg hunt?
Mom: We take easter eggs and hide them all over the yard, and you try to find them.
Me: But I don’t like eggs.
Mom: These are easter eggs.
Me: What’s an easter egg?
Mom: It’s like a regular egg, but they come in lots of pretty colors.
Me: So what do I get if I find them?
Mom: You get the eggs.
Me: Can I eat them?
Mom: Can if you want to.
Me: Do they taste different?
Mom: No, they taste like regular eggs.
Me: But I don’t like eggs.
(pause)
Me: You sure they’re not candy eggs or something?
Mom: No, their regular eggs.
Me: Can I eat them scrambled?
Mom: No, they’re hard-boiled
Me: What’s that?
Mom: They’re cooked in the shell in boiling water.
Me: Does that make them taste different?
Mom: Yes.
Me: Would I like them?
Mom: I don’t know, have you ever had a hard-boiled egg?
Me: I don’t think so.
Mom: Would you like to try one?
Me: Yes.
(we pause here for a few minutes as mom makes me a hard-boiled egg, and shows me how to peel and eat it.)
Mom: Well, what do you think?
Me: Mmm, not sure. (I take another bite)
(pause)
Me: I don’t like it.
Mom: What don’t you like about it?
Me: The taste.
Mom: What’s wrong with the taste?
Me: It tastes like eggs.
Mom: It IS an egg.
Me: But I don’t like eggs.
Mom: Fine, then you don’t have to eat it.
Me: So how do I win this easter egg hunt?
Mom: By finding the easter eggs.
Me: How many do I have to find?
Mom: As many as you can.
Me: What do I get if I win?
Mom: You don’t get anything, it’s not like that.
Me: There’s no prize?
Mom: No, there’s no prize.
Me: Just the eggs.
Mom: Right, just the eggs.
Me: And you’re sure they taste just like regular eggs?
Mom: Yes, I’m sure. It’s just food coloring, it doesn’t change the taste.
Me: And there’s no candy eggs, or chocolate eggs, or anything?
Mom: No, no candy eggs, no chocolate eggs, just regular eggs, that have been colored like easter eggs.
Me: I don’t like eggs.
Mom: I gathered.
Me: If it’s all the same to you, can I just stay in a watch cartoons instead?
Mom: Fine…